If you haven’t heard the story behind this album before, I’d love to take a minute to share it with you.
The word GENERATIONS is a loaded word for me, but is also used in the most practical sense, here. This is an album about family; about the pain and beauty that passes from generation to generation.
It started about a year ago after coming home from a long talk with my mom. It was one of those talks about our family history and things that happened in the past; about coming to further clarity and understanding about the ways we can so easily hurt each other. It’s such a strange thing to me, in life, how the ones we love the most can be the ones we most easily hurt. Love is a delicate thing. But driving home from that talk I had this really nice feeling. Like there was progress. That our story had moved forward. That some small details or misunderstandings had finally been woven together creating a new grand. It felt like new territory. Like arriving at a new place. So I did what I often do when I have a feeling or experience (good or bad) that I’m not quite sure how to express verbally, I play the piano and write a song. This turned out to be the first song on the album and I called it “Arrival.”
I hadn’t planned on writing another piano album at that time, but that song got me thinking about my wife, my boys, and all those feelings about passing things on from generation to generation. I thought to myself that after writing this song about my mother, that maybe I could write a few more songs, each one being dedicated to my wife and boys and the ones I love.
I searched my photo album for the right picture that could maybe be used for the cover of the album. A picture that would inspire the mood, the theme, the idea behind what passes from generation to generation. I found this pic of Jack and Griffin sitting on a ledge, looking over the Grand River. It felt right, because, in a way, everything that has occurred in my life til this point sort of doesn’t matter. They are all that matters. Everything my parents passed to me, and everything I’ve experienced is all loaded into this one motivation– passing it on to them. The photo felt right. I whited out the background so you could only see the outline of their bodies sitting on the curb, sort suggesting that we have no idea what they’re looking at. Life is blank canvas to them, and therefor, with life being a giant whiteboard, we can draw and paint and create the future together. It was in editing that photo that the name GENERATIONS came to me.
A couple weeks later, everything changed.
I received a request that I am still, to this day, humbled by, heartbroken over, and struggling to feel worthy of…
I was moving a piano for a customer who so kindly and compassionately shared with me the story of how their daughter passed away the previous year. She was 9 years old. Her name was Caroline. This mother and father told her story with such strength and love, grieving for their daughter in a way that celebrated her little spark of life. It was an honor to share those moments.
After hearing me play piano for a minute, and hearing about how I wrote my first album, they asked if I would consider writing a song and dedicating it to their daughter, Caroline. I would say yes, but still, in all honesty, it scared me, as I couldn’t imagine capturing a precious life with seven notes. To me, it would take many songs, an album, volumes. But in the way a picture can paint a thousand words, a song can tell a story, and to honor their daughter and join the parents in solidarity, I wanted to put my heart into it and see if I could capture an emotion, a picture, a glimpse into her life, her parents life now, and all the love they had and still have together. For me, this would not just be a song about Caroline, it would be about this lovely strong family who’s moving forward with such strength and dignity and humility, doing what they can to honor her life with theirs.
This was something I wasn’t going to rush. Over the next few months, when I had time to sit down and write, I would close my eyes and picture her, the family. I would go back in time and do what I could to imagine their life together, to see her smile, her joy. The parents told me she was not ok with negativity. And that complaining is a waste of time. She had such a good attitude and spirit through her final year. She was strong when the family wasn’t and she carried hope with her, lighting everyone’s path love and innocence. I tried to see all this, to feel this. I would write one song, sit with it a while, struggle to feel it was “it” and write another. I would do this several times, writing four then five songs trying to capture the sound that could honor this little girl and her wonderful family. I ended up on a song. Partly because I played it for three different people without telling them what it was about. I asked them all to just close their eyes and listen and tell me what they thought the song was about. Each person said, verbatim “It sounds like happy grieving. Like someone died, and it’s very sad, and you’ll never be the same, but it’s ok. Yah…it’s ok now.” (Even writing these words I tear up a little). Because of the feedback, I felt like this one song was indeed saying, without words, what it was supposed. I named it Wishing Well (For Caroline).
Now, even though that one song ended being the dedication song, I could almost dedicate and would like to dedicate the whole album to Caroline, because she was the inspiration behind half of the songs on the album. But the more I’ve thought about it, I know the family would be just as honored knowing every song on the album is not just about their child, but my children and sort of dedication to the love parents have for their children. And so I go back to the title “Generations.” Feeling honored to share their story, to see the love they had, to be inspired to love and invest and connect with my children every precious day we have together. So, in the end, this album is dedicated to my parents, my children, to Caroline, to her parents, to parents who’ve lost a child, and to parents everywhere who live to pass on all the good they can to their children, loving them with all our hearts, everyday, knowing children bless and teach and love us, as much as we do them…sometimes more.
I hope this album connects with you, encourages, inspires, soothes, and puts your heart and mind in gentle places. (God that sounded like Bob Ross, didn’t it?) I am getting older. But for real, I’m pretty certain it will take you where you need to go, and even if it’s uncomfortable, that you can sit their a bit, feeling grief and love and hope and strength, and know that I am honored and humbled and full of joy at being able to play a part in the journey of your life.
Much love friends,
Ronnie
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